Slowly but surely, more and more North Korean escapees are coming out to share their story of the realities of life in North Korea. This video from the well known TED Conference is compelling and revealing.  

I’ve wrestled with the paralyzing fear that comes with waiting for certain diagnoses. I’ve also tasted a bit of chronic illness. And my life has on occasion been crippled by the anxiety and depression that hammers away relentlessly at the hearts and minds of those who struggle with illness or the possibility of it. When the imagination is left to its own devices during these times, it becomes a vicious tormentor that I would say is unparalleled in the human experience.

Through the tears I shed and prayers I cried during the worst times, I realize what my heart longs for is someone who understands every facet of my turmoil and pain; someone who is willing to embrace me, shed my tears, experience my exact suffering, and walk with me everyday so we could share and support each other knowing that the other person really, truly knows and feels what the other is feeling; I want someone who can do those things and will never go away. No parent, no spouse, no friend, no human can provide that, but I’ve found that’s exactly what my heart wants.*I think this is why support groups (i.e. addiction, illness, etc. groups) are so helpful to those who suffer because they consist of people who really do understand. But even those fall short.

Of course, healing is definitely preferred, but when healing is delayed or not granted, what I’ve described above is what I want more than anything else. And this is why despite how upset I feel at God during those times, it’s always to him I turn. Jesus is so attractive to me because he’s the only God who’s taken my suffering seriously. He’s the only one whose actions say to me, “Kee Won, I did what I did to show you that I know. I’ve experienced it. That’s why I came. And I am with you, and will never leave you. And, one day, all of this will be undone.” The hope this generates in my heart feels very frail in the midst of suffering, but it’s literally the only hope that remains during those times.

I believe humans can approximate this with the help of the Holy Spirit. As Paul says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; and mourn with those who mourn.” I say this while pointing a finger primarily at myself, “Can we really say we’ve lived this verse with those around us? Do we really, truly mourn and enter into the suffering of those around us? Do we really, truly rejoice and enter into the joy of those around us?”

*Paradoxically, though, I do not want those I love to experience any of the suffering I’ve experienced. A part of me longs for understanding, but another part of me wants them never to understand. I do not want them to taste any of the pain because I love them too much. This is all the more why I believe the only solution to my longing is in God.

For all the smart Asians out there – take a look at this interesting article. Going to a top notch school may actually be much harder than you would think – if you’re an Asian.

In a 2009 study of more than 9,000 students who applied to selective universities, the sociologists Thomas J. Espenshade and Alexandria Walton Radford found that white students were three times more likely to be admitted than Asians with the same academic record.

Sound familiar? In the 1920s, as high-achieving Jews began to compete with WASP prep schoolers, Ivy League schools started asking about family background and sought vague qualities like “character,” “vigor,” “manliness” and “leadership” to cap Jewish enrollment. These unofficial Jewish quotas weren’t lifted until the early 1960s, as the sociologist Jerome Karabel found in his 2005 history of admissions practices at Harvard, Yale and Princeton.

In the 1920s, people asked: will Harvard still be Harvard with so many Jews? Today we ask: will Harvard still be Harvard with so many Asians? Yale’s student population is 58 percent white and 18 percent Asian. Would it be such a calamity if those numbers were reversed? Source: New York Times

Are you interested in starting your own business? Or perhaps you experienced an “ah-ha” moment for a unique service or product but never had the guts to jump off the cliff and make your idea a reality? A small percentage of entrepreneurs actually have the will to drive an idea for the marketplace to consume. Others (the majority of dreamers) just can’t justify the incredible sacrifice and bloodshed that one could possibly face in the long process.

Definitely worth watching for an aspiring business owner.

For the past few weeks, I have advised my little cousin on his college applications. I can’t help but reflect on my own experience applying to schools as he and I go through the process of meeting deadlines, editing essays, and hoping for the best outcomes.

Is it just me or do most, if not all, Korean Americans, including myself, feel at one point or another inadequate in comparison to peers of other ethnic and racial backgrounds? At times, it’s the Korean American girl who feels unpretty next to her classmate who seems to resemble the idealized standard for American beauty–one that she doesn’t feel she meets. It can be the guy who feels desexualized because he is shorter than many middle school kids. Or it’s the Korean American student, like my cousin, who clearly has accomplished academic feats within the demanding schedule of sports practices, extra-curricular clubs, and socializing to maintain relevance in his community. Yet the same student chooses to see the negative over the positive and still doubts his ability to compete for a place at the top schools.

Guilt and shame tend to rule our emotions because we feel we should not have the desire to rise above nor do we feel we should encourage that sentiment in others. The well known adage claims that education is power, and for me this was the case. I Identified some of the causes of my defeatist attitude through BC’s Korean American culture club and through Asian American courses. I began to recognize that I had tendencies to put myself down, but the realization of this helped me to combat those habits.  I took hold of my psychological chains and broke them. Sometime around junior year of college, I had healed of many years of feeling inferior and lacking self-confidence. When I finally was free of these chains, I began to soar to greater heights, heights that I could only dream of before.

In the end, perhaps the curse was really a blessing: the lack of self-confidence, my cousin, I, and so many other Korean Americans have experienced can act as a catalyst through which we battle and eventually overcome our shame and guilt for wanting our piece of the American dream. But the crux of the victory is that choice–to want a different perspective, to fight for it, and to fight until it’s achieved. I hope that every person reading this article can find truth in that method. Triumph and success don’t come easy. And for some of us, there are years of telling ourselves “you can’t” that need to be uprooted. Yet, I’m optimistic.

For someone like my cousin, I believe that a victory is in the near future. My hope is that his hunger for his own success, whatever that success may look like, will grow ever more powerful. I hope that thoughts of unworthiness will transform, sooner than later, into realizations of what I’ve always seen in him–his potential to be great.

Person A: “Where are you from?”
Me: I’m from Philly (Good conversation starter since “Fresh Prince of Belair” is often brought up. Sometimes people just start singing the song, “in West Philadelphia born and raised…” It stops there b/c they don’t know the rest of the words, haha – it’s okay, neither do I.)

Person A: “What do you do?”
Me: (Here is where my heart dreads the question) – I am an intern at a church.
Person A: “Oh…that’s awesome!” (The last part is to cover up the initial “oh,” haha).

Person A: “Part-time or full-time intern?”
Me: Part-time
Person A: “Oh.” (No “that’s awesome,” haha)

So I received the seedling of this idea of ‘ladders’ from David Powlison’s short pamphlet on “Stress.” The idea of Ladders is that everyone has a certain set of values they hold dear to them and they put themselves on a rung within their ladder system. Anyone who is below them on their rung they judge themselves to be one-up or ‘better’ and less-threatened by the other. If someone they meet is above them on their own ladder system, they place greater worth on that ‘other’ and respect them more and very well may be intimidated by the ‘other.’

The image above shows two ladders with various “values.” These are a tiny snapshot of the millions of values that exist from person to person. For example, I love sports and I deem myself to be somewhat athletic. Let’s look at Image 1 - suppose I meet a girl who is nice but I see her throw a football with the most hideous spiral and because my ladder is “athleticism” I’ve deemed her lower than me on my ladder (value). In essence, b/c she’s low on my important value of “athleticism,”  I’ve subconsciously or consciously judged her and inherently thought myself as better than her. I’ve placed her worth not based on who she is in Christ and just taken her as she is, but I’ve wrongly judged her based on a wobbly toss and her identity and worth to me is lower b/c she ranked low on my ladder.

On the flip side (Image 2), because everyone here in NYC is higher than me on all my important ladders, i.e.,values, I place greater worth in them and give them more respect (and, admittedly, I am sometimes intimidated). I’ve also “judged” them but in my judgment of them, I’ve placed greater value on them based on my own ladder system, rather than judging them based on who they are in Christ.

If you are a Christian, you must affirm that that you’re identity is in Christ, not in the world. But, if we’re honest with ourselves and with the ladders we cherish so dearly, we do not believe our identities are wholly wrapped up in Christ nor do we affirm others identities based on who Christ is and what He’s done for others. We must destroy these ladders in order for true reconciliation to happen in all facets of life.

How will I love the poor and marginalized? I’m not a very loving person to begin with and so there is no way I can unless I destroy and abolish my ladders. How will I affirm the dignity of the poor and marginalized if they rank low on my ladders? I won’t be able to. Only through the HS working in my heart, making me aware of my ladders, repenting of them, being disgusted with them, can I slowly but surely love the poor and marginalized. It’s going to be a lifelong battle, but this one is definitely worth fighting for.

Not taking the development process lightly, she spent three years making sure to create the perfect product – a makeup palette that was sturdy, completely customizable and able to hold a variety of different cosmetic brands, while still looking sleek and stylish. Using what she had learned from various manufacturing, industrial design and engineering classes she took during her architecture studies and after scouring various trade shows for the perfect manufacturer, Ha officially launched UNII Cosmetics in January 2010.

UNII Cosmetics now offers a full line of customizable makeup palettes and since its inception, has grown to include six vibrant shades. The product has been recognized by leading publications such as Marie Claire, Real Simple and Whole Living and is sold at renowned retailers Fred Segal Studio Beauty Mix and Naimie’s Beauty Center. Minna Ha is currently based in Los Angeles where she continues to passionately work on extending the UNII brand.

1. It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish: It’s so easy to start something, but to see it through til the end is the sign of a champion. No matter how many obstacles you go through or how many times you pass out along the way, finishing is what counts. 

2. What you do affects those around you: Holland’s courage towards the end not only clinched her team the championship, it left a lasting memory of encouragement to her teammates, coaches, and now anyone who watches this video. What we do directly and indirectly affects those around us. Whether that will be in a positive or negative way is up to us. 

3. It doesn’t matter if you win or lose: I don’t think it matters that Holland’s team won the championship. That’s just icing on the cake, an added bonus, a cherry on top. What really matters is the unity and character that is built through the completion of something difficult. More than the victory, I think the team would look back on this event and remember the unity and bonds that were built through it. 

All these points resonate loudly with me right now. I’ve definitely hit a few road bumps and went along some detours in running this brand but I’m inspired as ever to keep it going and to never give up. I trust that God put me to this and that he will be get me through it. It’s also easy for me to think of this brand as my own and how it can benefit me, but God constantly reminds me of the vision he has given to me for the brand. It’s not for me, it’s purpose is to be a positive impact to those who come across it and it is a medium to support and uplift the community around me. Lastly, I’m reminded that it doesn’t matter how big or small this brand gets. It’s more about my motives and intentions and how genuine they are. Even if a few people are inspired through this brand, I would consider it a success. 

Having said that, I’m still pushing this brand to grow and develop. I have some new products and projects lined up in the near future to take those steps. Stay tuned! 

Question: What are you trying to “finish” right now? 

This Fall, the 5th Annual Philadelphia Asian American Film Festival (PAAFF) presented by HBO proudly celebrates its fifth anniversary in bringing quality Asian American cinema to the greater Philadelphia Area. PAAFF’12 will kick-off with a free Launch Night event on Friday, October 26st, at 7pm at the Prince Music Theater Black Box (1412 Chestnut Street). The Festival will proceed on November 7 – 17th at two venues: the Ibrahim Theater at the International House (3701 Chestnut Street) and the Asian Arts Initiative (1219 Vine Street).

“WHITE FROG” is a universal story of the power of family, friendship, and love starring Booboo Stewart (Twilight Saga), Joan Chen (The Last Emperor), BD Wong (Law & Order: SVU) and Harry Shum, Jr (Glee). The Centerpiece Film will screen on Saturday,
November 10th. The Closing Night Film, “PEARLS OF THE FAR EAST,” is a dramatic film starring Kieu Chinh (Joy Luck Club) and Truong Ngoc Anh (The White Silk Dress) will screen on Friday, November 16th.

The 5th Annual Philadelphia Asian American Film Festival (PAAFF) is sponsored primarily by HBO and Comcast and is the first event of its kind in Philadelphia – a film festival celebrating and elevating the Asian American experience. In five years, PAAFF is proud to have screened over 100 films (Documentaries, Narrative Features and Shorts), bringing culturally relevant programming to a broad audience while providing sponsors
with a meaningful platform to engage the community.

PAAFF’12 will showcase 8 narrative feature films, 4 documentaries, and 2 short film programs, along with free receptions, parties, and special events, including an appearance by Daniel Ho, 6-time Grammy winning Hawaiian musical artist, and a panel, “Asian Americans in Hollywood,” moderated by Richard Lui (MSNBC), and featuring B.D. Wong (Law & Order: SVU).

<Official website>

<FREE EVENT!!!>

Gangnam Style PSY

A very interesting article was published by Mashable regarding PSY and Gangnam. It provides random information such as how the “Gangnam Style” video ranks with other top viral videos on YouTube, what entertainment management company oversees the PSY operations, “Gangnam Style” iTunes downloads, and more.

Good job by Mashable and its sources by bringing this information together.

Here is the Mashable article of interest.

While I like my name (Kee Won Huh), it has caused me problems living in the U.S. Not my name’s fault, of course. It’s just that U.S. naming customs and documentation have taken years to catch up to accommodate the naming customs of immigrants (many of which are now American citizens). In fact, they still haven’t caught up. Here’s a short list of problems I’ve encountered:

2. Some places will not accept the space in “Kee Won” as part of the first name. I have to write “Keewon” or “Kee” with “Won” as the middle name.

3. Many times, in correspondence, companies will write my name as “Kee Huh”.

4. Some add a hypen so my name appears as “Kee-Won” because they don’t believe “Kee Won” is accurate. I just got a letter from Amex doing that.

5. The amount of heartache and stress my name has caused when I travel abroad is not quantifiable. Sometimes they think Won is a middle name, other times they’re not sure. This causes major problems when they compare my name across the documents because in some instances it’s not clear if Won is a middle name or a first name, and some of the officials are super anal–they tell me the documentation is not acceptable. I always want to ask them, “How many Kee Won Huhs do you think there are in the world?” Without fail, someone associated with any of my trips gets it wrong–travel agents, airlines, etc.

6. And, of course, I always get, “Mr. Hugh.” I tell them, “It’s Huh, like it’s spelled.” Then many aspiring comedians retort, “Huh?”

7. Don’t get me started on the horrific experiences I’ve had with the DMV.

8. Since I am a writer, I sometimes wonder how the name “Kee Won Huh” will be received by the masses. In terms of the modern, Western ear, I’m not sure if “Kee Won Huh” has the same ring and impact as “Veronica Roth” or “Jhumpa Lahiri” or “Khaled Hosseini” or “J. K. Rowling” or even “Dan Brown.” Not that I’m even in the same league as some of these guys, but you get what I mean. Names matter when it comes to marketing a book.

I know there’s more, but you get the drift.

Note: The naming practices in America do not only affect immigrants. There are people from the majority population that struggle with the systems as well. However, the naming customs are still far more accommodating for those who already have English names. Also, in my particular case, I guess my parents could have romanized my name differently as “Keewon Huh,” but, according to some interpretations, that would not reflect my original Korean name faithfully. Then, of course, the debate becomes a question of cultural interaction, but I won’t go there right now. Finally, it doesn’t help that when many immigrants came to the U.S. in the 20th century, there were no real standardized romanization practices–most were ad hoc and inconsistent. Much more can be written about this stuff, but the above post was meant to be a simple and short venting/lamenting session.

When I watched the video for the first time, I wasn’t too impressed. Perhaps it was because of the ridiculous nature of the music video or because I didn’t understand any of the Korean innuendos that was being communicated. In other words, I didn’t have a clue what was being said nor what the man was even singing (since the words were in Korean, and I’m not that great in understanding the Korean language especially since it was being used in music lyrics). 

Who would have thought I’d go to YouTube and search for PSY and associated “Gangnam Style” parody videos – check out this one from the University of Oregon. Yes, the Oregon Ducks even are in the PSY “Gangnam Style” parody movement.

An international sensation worth listening to. Who would have thought?

Hey, let’s give the guy some credit for trying.

Apparently, the guy never had a coach.

Hilarious.

Houston, we don’t have a problem anymore.

After releasing Lin this past year, you must have been in extreme pain and regret when Linsanity was born in New York. You watched, in agony, as Jeremy Lin captured the world, literally. You realized that Jeremy Lin wasn’t just an Asian American wannabee basketball player from Harvard University. You quickly realized that you didn’t give the man a sliver of a chance.

I commend you, Houston, for redeeming yourself – by taking a big chance on this relatively “small” man. Second chances rarely presents itself, and you aggressively pursued Linsanity for what its worth – millions in ticket sales, jersey sales, and exposure of your team, the Houston Rockets.