(An anonymous Korean male asked if he could submit an article based upon an article he read on Konnect Magazine about a woman’s attempt to hunt for a husband. Konnect Magazine has agreed to this request.)

(By Anonymous Man) I am a second generation Korean-American man in his 40s and single.  All of my peers are married with multiple children, one even with a 19 year old son!  I feel old.  I feel like a freak.  I feel distraught and hopeless at times, thinking that it is game over for me.  It’s even harder when you’re Korean.  Eastern culture has no category for “single and in your 40s”.  In fact, there is a proverb that says, “The hell of your husband is better than the paradise of your father”, meaning that it is better to be married to an abusive man than not to be married at all.  At least you can say that you’re married!

The truth is that marriage is always a possibility. There is no statute of limitations on when one can get married.  I recently went to a wedding where the bride was 69 and the groom was 93. The groom was so frail that the couple had to sit down before the minister as he officiated!  The problem, however, is not getting married but not being able to have children since most likely I would marry someone my age.  Even if I do marry someone younger, I would end up being one of those old fathers, someone in his 50s with a child in elementary school.  I met one of these men recently.  As he was clumsily holding his new baby like a watermelon, he acknowledged with a smile that having a new baby is not something age-appropriate for him.  He dearly loves his new son of course but remarked that it would have been better if he were raising children in his younger years. [Read more...]